Novato's NUSD Mystery Mounds

One of the NUSD Novato Mystery Mounds.

This has always puzzled the Novatologist. Novato is known for the quality of its schools. Indeed, many people move to Novato just for the schools, along with the relative quiet and safety (Marin crime rate is a tenth that of Sonoma County), proximity to Marin Open Space hiking and environs, and of course what some see as Novato's, "magic triumvirate," the corporate intersection of Whole Foods, Starbucks and Trader Joes. But all is not well, schoolwise. The Novato Unified School District (NUSD) spends less per pupil than any other school district in Marin. And interestingly enough, NUSD has the highest paid administrators in Marin County, while Novato teachers are paid 25% less than other teachers in Marin -- and this with the NUSD sitting on an $18 million slush fund.

What's this nest egg for? Administrator pensions? No one seems to know. And no one will openly talk about it, for whatever reason. The Novatologist has never seen this mystery mound mentioned in the local rags (which are feckless, at best), but wait: as Yoda said, "There is another."

The NUSD also owns a large chunk of valuable, undeveloped real estate off San Marin Drive, catecorner to Apple Market, just down San Andreas on the southeast side. It's a big parcel, allegedly for "future school expansion," but the last the Novatologist looked, the NUSD is laying off teachers, closing schools and consolidating, so a future school site isn't in the works. Even with depressed real estate values, the NUSD would make enough money off this San Andreas land sale to bring Novato teacher's pay competitive with all other Marin County teachers (which snags the best teachers because they pay more, hello?) for at least a decade -- and new houses always sell in San Marin.

So, what are they thinking of doing with this other mystery mound of moolah potential? More administrator pensions? More to the point, do we even need administrators? What exactly do they do? Can they be replaced with a council of active teachers, who'd be thrilled to take on the mantle of administatorness if they were paid more? If anyone knows what the NUSD is thinking, or anything else in terms of this mystery, feel free to comment below and the Novatologist will share it with the rest of the class.

-What do you mean I'm not helping?
-I mean you're not helping. Why is that, Leon?

Novato's Golden Calf

Novato parents are rabid about it. Some worship it. Others want it cast into the communal pit. So, what is Novato's Golden Calf? Rancho Elementary. And when the NUSD moved toward ending the dreaded lottery system and making golden Rancho a regular neighborhood school, all hell broke loose.

Rancho Rancho Rancho. Often called, "a public private school," Rancho Elementary has the highest test scores in the district... but that's about it. The Novatologist can speak about this with great authority, as he toured Rancho a year or two ago, along with many of the other Novato schools, assaying the local elementaries for his oldest child, who was slated to begin kindergarten. Needless to say, the Novatologist didn't come away with a warm fuzzy.

Rancho has been coasting on its golden reputation for quite some time. While the test scores are high, the lily white demographics make those numbers rather suspect. More importantly, in the TWO tours the Novatologist took as part of the notorious lottery system, he observed that not one child, not one teacher, was smiling.

No one was smiling, anywhere. Everyone looked stressed and unhappy, noses to the grindstone. One teacher was so dour that the Novatologist had flashes of stricken faces from old photographs of children slaving away in Victorian workhouses.

Most telling, the PTA president at the time, who gave both tours, said (twice): "We at Rancho believe that college prep begins with kindergarten." Really. The Novatologist thought he'd heard that wrong the first time, but she said the same thing on the second tour. Two tours were necessary to ensure that the Novatologist hadn't caught everyone on a bad day, but both times saw unhappy faces and rather ludicrous expectations.

Needless to say, when the Novatologist's oldest child was accepted into Rancho, he opted for another school (so we're not talking sour grapes, here). Other parents thought he was crazy, but the proof is on the children's faces. (The Novatologist chose San Ramon, which from the looks on the kids' faces, looks to be Novato's new jewel in the crown. They're getting a new principal, so we'll see how long that lasts. He seemed pleasant. And he installed an international baccalaureate program at his last elementary in Sonoma.)

Schools are more than just test scores, folks. There are other factors to consider, not the least of which is: is my child going to be happy there? Or are they goining to be continually stressed out from three hours of homework a night -- in first grade? (Studies show that 30 minutes is plenty.) Homework is great for parents who want their kids busy doing homework all the time, but there are diminishing returns to consider. The Novatologist says let Rancho be tossed into the public domain. It might be good for everyone, especially the kids who go there. Happy kids learn more than unhappy kids.

What Does Novato Mean, Anyway?

Sir Francis Drake crashes a party thrown by the Coastal Miwok, c. 1579.

Besides the extreme antiquity of some of the area strip malls, the human settlements around Novato are quite old, having shown human habitation for approximately 15,000+ years. The first Novato natives we know of, the Coastal Miwoks and Miwoks, lived in and around Novato for thousands of years prior to the European invasions. Most surprising to Marin residents: few -- if any --- of those drove Mercedes (unless a horse was so named).

That said, what the heck does, "Novato," mean anyway? It could come from an obscure letter written in 1768 by the Spanish Visitor General, Jose de Galvez, who refused to venture so far north to see land he owned, hence "No-va-to" could be loosely translated as meaning, "Dude, I'm SO not going that far." There was also an Italian crewman attached to Sir Francis Drake's 1579 California expedition who lit out from the ship, when it landed at Drake's Bay, booming out with a topless Miwok bride, but who died enroute to the fishing village that would eventually become Miwok Park. So, it could potentially be italian for, "not to be." However, it seems that the last Miwok chief (his original name unrecorded) converted to Christianity and took a name suggested by a Spanish priest, based on that of St. Novatus, an early Christian saint, c.151 AD. "Novato" thus comes from the Latin for, "fresh start," or "renewed." Not nearly as much fun, but at least now you know.

In reality, the nature of Novato is probably an olio of the above definitions, with many more yet to be discovered.

Sources:

1. Powers, Stephen. Tribes of California. University of California Press, 1976. (Reprinted from Contributions to North American Ethnology, Vol. III. Dept. of the Interior, U.S. Geographical and Geological Survey of the Rocky Mountain Region, 1877.)

2. Trimegistus, Hermes. Hermetica, Vol. VI. Philosopher's Stone Press, Constantinople, 1895.

3. Durham, David L. California's Geographic Names: A Gazetteer of Historic and Modern Names of the State. Quill Driver Books, 1998. 

Welcome to The Novatologist

Novato's (empty and defunct) movie theatre looks presentable when the neon's been dusted.

Welcome, gentle reader, to the inaugural post of, "The Novatologist," a fearless chronicle of the trials and tribulations of Novato, California, a rather mundane little California town that means well. The city fathers (and mothers, apparently) envisioned Novato as a, "bedroom community," where folks live, commuting to San Francisco for work. This is a dated view, however, as many Novatans now either work from home, commute to Marin or Sonoma or Napa counties -- or are unemployed, which seems to be the most common occurrence. Many Novatans have been here for many years, if not their entire lives, and in some cases, it shows. This is typical of Small Town, USA.

Like much of Marin County, Novato is where wild and sexy and carefree San Francisco singles (many of whom grew up in Marin) eventual pair up and settle down, as no one really wants to raise kids in the city. Novato itself features the, "magic triumvirate," of Whole Foods, Trader Joes and Starbucks, which at least makes it livable, if not real estate-ingly desireable (with the addition of CostCo). However, corporations that prey on the Marin populace feel that everyone in Marin is rich, at least they reflect this notion in the prices for gas, food, etc. The Novatologist was visiting another, more modest California county, north of Novato, where he visited a Costco for whatever reason, and was SHOCKED at how much cheaper everything was. Prices were 40% higher at the Novato Costco. When the Novatologist mentioned this to the manager of the Novato Costco, he shrugged and said, "It's Marin," a big SCREW YOU to Novato locals, who are typically of more modest means.

Demographically speaking, Marin is indeed more affluent than say, Oklahoma, but that's truer of Southern Marin, home to Mill Valley, Ross, Belvedere and Tiburon, where older Barbies drive silver Mercedes and can wait in line for about three seconds before sighing forcefully and looking at their watches. Novato is the Northernmost part of Marin County, which at times feels about two hours south of the Arctic Circle, but the people are ostensibly more, "normal," whatever that means, and can wait in line (or "on line" if they're from Boston) much longer. Perhaps up to something like EIGHT minutes before bursting into flame. Ontologically speaking, that five minute delta can make all the difference in the world.

The Novato clocktower that Novatans paid a mint to have moved 15 feet.